My grandfather landed in this country with nothing but a nickel in his pocket and an enormous grandfather clock. He knew everything was but a matter of time. He was not on the ground for more than a few minutes before a kind gentleman offered to clean his clock.

The first astronaut on the moon cleared his throat, started whistling, and unzipped his suit. A tinkling sound. “What’s happening?” said ground control. Going where no man has ever… the astronaut died of exposure. NASA does not speak of it. “Gee Whiz,” said the president elect.

Happiness was invented by an author and when I find that author… They are going to live happily ever after. Dammit.